T'n'A at the P&L

I just don’t understand why there has to be so much T’n’A. It’s everywhere. Just take a look at our new entertainment district.

I mean, the Power & Light is sexy enough with Mosaic, the chic lounge with Miami flair.

The indoor-outdoor living room with potent martinis is the gem of the Cordish Co.’s mall of bars that have taken over downtown.

But it isn’t enough to have sultry décor and a hot staff. The P&L wants its waitresses to look as if they’re auditioning for a spot in the Pussycat Dolls.

Seriously, the servers at Angel’s Rock Bar look like extras in that old Christina Aguilera video — “Dirrty.” And pretty much every bar in the district serves up a wait staff with thighs exposed and/or breasts spilling out of their tops.

I was at PBR Big Sky Cowboy Bar when both the male and female bartenders took their shirts off.

Were they gorgeous? Yes.

As my guy friend explained to me: “Boobs are fun to look at.”

But the girl had a long torso and low-slung jeans exposing a serious case of plumber’s butt. And who wants crack with their cocktail? Not me.

Everyone is up in arms about the dress code, and I would like to say, I don’t mind it. As a former nightlife columnist, I enjoy going out and seeing people dressed up. The problem is how ridiculously specific the dress code is. It speaks directly to the hip-hop crowd and plays into stereotypes.

Still, when you jump through all the hoops of that dress code, what do you get? A waitress who looks as if she’s about to hand you a menu from the Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

Or you might walk past “White Trash” night at McFadden’s. Yes, that is a real party. Cordish doesn’t want patrons who wear hats turned to the side, or men wearing chains, but it does encourage “White Trash” night. Wow.

And let’s not overlook the hand stamps. The last time I went to the district, I got all dressed up only to end up with a hand looking like a passport. I had to show my ID and get stamped just to walk in. Then once again to enter PBR. Then, the door guy at PBR tried to ID me a second time after I left and came back, despite my stamp. By that time, I decided to skip Howl at the Moon. There was no more room on my hand.

Lastly, while you’re so busy putting on your dress and your sky-high stilettos, you forget to factor in parking. Sure, there’s that gracious $2 parking garage they offer. But if that’s full, you end up doing circles past the $5 and $10 garages. Rip-off?

Or, say, you didn’t even come out for the busty bars. Maybe you live downtown and just want to eat. The P&L does have great restaurants. And it has Chipotle, one of the few places to get fast-food downtown.

But who wants to pay $2 to park so you can buy a $5 burrito? So, maybe you’ll find a free spot a few blocks away. By the time you go through all of that, there’s nothing fast about the food. You might as well settle in for a spell — I recommend patronizing the few home-grown spots in the corporate compound: ChefBurger or the Bristol or Peachtree when it finally opens.

Our civic and business leaders say the Power & Light is revitalizing downtown. But just ask how it’s going at some of downtown’s most unique places — YJ’s on 18th Street or Seven or Nara or Harry’s Country Club.

So I’m curious. Have all of these years of anticipation for a new, rejuvenated Kansas City come down to this: dressing up only to use your hand as a passport to a mall full of “White Trash” parties and T’n’A?